My dad died in August 1981. He and my mom were living in the original Leisure Village in Lakewood, NJ. I went down that night to be with my mom and help her with the funeral arrangements. My son, Doug, then 11, insisted on coming along, because he was close to his grandparents. I hesitated at first, but realized how much it meant to him to be there with my mom and me.
The next day, after finalizing the arrangements, we drove over to the beach at Point Pleasant to walk along the boardwalk and savor the sights, sounds, and smells of the ocean, something my mom loved to do. We ended up walking into one of those big, old hotels near the beach. I forget its name, but it was a place where my mom and dad would go on occasion for dinner and dancing. Walking through the lobby she was visibly overcome with emotion – so many fond memories flooding back of the evenings she and my dad had spent there together.
Seemingly from out of nowhere, an elderly lady who had noticed my mom’s distress came up and asked her what was bothering her. My mom explained that she had just lost her husband 52 days short of their 50th anniversary and that they used to come to this hotel occasionally. The lady listened attentively, thought for a moment and said in effect that my mom needed to go through the entire grieving process – not to shorten it or avoid it — and shed tears, many tears, for my dad’s loss. She went on to add – and I think this was what my mom needed to hear — that she shouldn’t feel sorry for herself. Since that day I can say with certainty that there are angels walking among us. We were blessed to be in that place at that time.
We learned later that the lady was a Catholic nun, a psychotherapist, who lived in a convent in the Bronx. She was on her annual week’s vacation in this hotel where she had been coming for a number of years. She added with a twinkle in her eye that she always made the round trip in a limo. Good for her! And thank God for her caring presence and her gift of sage advice that day!
:: Written by Bob Coe, Elder for Mission
